Monday the 13th of February
I am coming off of an emotional weekend.
Yesterday, we laid my aunt to rest. It was tough. It was also nice to be surrounded by family and see how they loved her. What an amazing woman she was. It started out weird for me though. The closer we got to that day, I could feel myself becoming withdrawn. It is an awful habit of mine and one that I know is difficult for my husband to deal with, but bless his heart, he does and he does so with the patience of a saint. When I am in a vulnerable state, all I want to do is separate myself from everyone and go into protection mode. Almost like I push everyone away. Total defense mechanism. I even told my husband that he didn't have to come to the funeral with me. I think everyone should go to those things with the right intentions. Not out of obligation. I wasn't sure where his heart was, so I thought I would give him an out. I'm glad he went though. He was a great source of strength for me.
Food of course was a big part of the day too. I didn't have a shake at all. Sad. Just a couple of days in and already I'm messing up. I'm back on the wagon though today and hope to get to the gym tonite. (wonder if Chad has gone yet today...)
So much has been on hold these past few days. Still trying to refocus and figure out what is priority. Story of my life, I guess.
Short entry today. I'll be better tomorrow!
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